I want to tell you a little story about how I almost moved to Houston, Texas.
As I’m sure you’re aware, Houston recently experienced a devastating storm that resulted in 60 deaths and more than $180 million dollars in damage. It’s terrible- the amount of tragedy that has resulted in the last couple of weeks is nothing short of heartbreaking.
My heart goes out to everyone in Houston right now- and I encourage you to donate to relief efforts if you have the ability to do so (I did).
On to the story- Last December, I was at a crossroads. I was finally in a better place, mentally, after a tumultuous 2016. I had done a lot of damage in a year to my health, my finances, my relationships. I was feeling really lost, confused, and quite frankly, broken.
I knew I had to make some kind of change- I wasn’t happy where I was living and felt trapped. I had moved back to Cleveland, my hometown, a year prior, thinking that it would offer me both fresh start and an opportunity to re-connect to my roots.
In part- this did come to fruition- I was able to rebuild my relationship with my dad, see a lot more of my mom, but that was about the extent of it. My extended family lived pretty far away and considering that I didn’t drive, it made it almost impossible to get around, much less spend quality time.
Speaking of not driving, this was a lot of the root of my problems living in Cleveland- because I was going to need to be able to get around without calling 3 or 4 Ubers a day (could you imagine the cost?). So I lived in what is essentially an outdoor mall, to have everything I would need day-to-day available within walking distance: grocery stores, the gym, a pharmacy, a book store, not to mention Lululemon and Sephora. Sure, I still had to Uber around quite a bit, but it wasn’t an everyday affair.
But I sure paid for it. Literally.
My rent was sky high and, because I lived alone, all of the bills were solely paid by yours truly. In fact, it was ⅔ of my income. Ouch. Yeah. Don’t try this at home, kids.
For some reason, moving to Texas had been my dream. I’d been to both Austin and Dallas and loved every minute of it- the people, the food, the architecture, the dry heat. Everything really was bigger in Texas and I loved the American spirit I felt while being there. It felt like home.
I was making plans to move and essentially start over- I was going to sell all of my furniture, say goodbye to my overpriced apartment, and find roommates to live with on Craigslist. I’d done this once before, when I moved to Columbus after graduating college, and figured I could do it again, no problem. What could possibly go wrong?
I found what I thought was the perfect house, roommates, and living situation to go into, but it ended up not coming through. Unless I wanted to Airbnb it until I found what I was looking for, I was going to be homeless in about 2 weeks. I was also low on money, energy, and ideas.
I felt pretty hopeless. So I did what I often do when I feel backed into a corner- went inward.
I felt my intuition telling me no. Moving to Texas wasn’t the right path- I needed to stay in Cleveland. I needed to be there. That’s where I belonged.
I didn’t have an explanation as to why I needed to stay or what was going to be here for me- but it just felt right. I’d started a deep, intimate relationship with my intuition a few months prior and knew I’d be both sorry and a hypocrite if I didn’t take my own advice and listen to my gut, no matter what.
So, I listened.
Long story short, I stayed- but I did move apartments.
I don’t want to get into the drama of why I decided to move residences, and to a building down the street, but it was the right move. I loved my new place. It felt like me. It felt like home. Finally.
Maybe this is the change I needed all along- and it was right around the corner.
Well, soon enough I had my answer. It was nothing like I ever could have imagined.
One of the other areas of my life I was focused deeply on was relationships. I had allowed myself to essentially be a doormat to other people’s feelings in 2016 and I knew I needed to make a big change, if I wanted to have a serious relationship. I felt like 2017 was my time- that love was coming my way and would be here soon. I felt it so deeply, so profoundly.
I was right- although it came in a very unexpected package.
My then lover was from New York City- we met online, also in a very unexpected way through a dating app (not the app itself, but how we connected through it when my settings only allowed me to see matches within 50 miles of my zip code). In order for the relationship to be viable, we both knew someone would have to relocate- and almost immediately he said he could see me in New York.
Our relationship only lasted for 4 months, but throughout that time we worked on getting me to New York. So even when we parted ways, moving was in full force.
I was very afraid and had a lot of hesitation, but I did it. I moved to New York City.
All because I didn’t move to Houston and stayed in Cleveland.
It was crazy to me that I was going to be moving closer to my new ex, and truthfully, I almost pulled the plug on the whole thing.
I am so in love with my life here and everything in it. I love my work, I love my home, I love the subway, I love the food, I love the people. I love it all. I feel so blessed to be here.
When Harvey hit, I remembered that moment where I almost moved to Houston- when I thought Texas was for me. I was so thankful that I’d listened to my intuition and even though I had no idea what to expect or why I even needed to stay in Cleveland when I actively wanted a big life change, it worked out exactly as it was supposed to.
I wanted to tell this tale to give you perspective on intuition and why it’s so important. If I hadn’t listened, I’d likely be homeless and devastated right now- which is some real shit.