Here’s the thing about not giving a fuck- you get back what you put out. When you don’t care, the people in your life will mirror that. So while you might feel like you’re protecting yourself, being cool and aloof, or avoiding emotional investment, you’re actually pushing away connection.
Being distant and acting like I don’t have enough fucks to give has been my default for a long time. At any sign of vulnerability, there’s a familiar inner alarm that goes off, warning me that I could be exposed; exposed for feeling not good enough, like a fraud, not being _______ enough.
I used to always respond by going cold and getting distant- or acting like I don’t give a fuck about my own shit and instead want to focus on someone else’s.
I say used to, since I am changing my ways.
The cost of not giving a fuck had gotten too high and I can’t pay my spiritual and emotional bills. I can’t live without feeling truly present anymore. I can’t pretend like shit doesn’t matter and it’s all fine and good all of the time.
We’ve been convinced that the one who doesn’t care ‘wins,’ so it’d better be you. But the truth is, the one who doesn’t care loses out on all of the good parts of human relationships: intimacy, love, connection, appreciation. When you don’t care, soon the person on the other end won’t either (or will stop putting forth effort), and then you’re left with…nothing.
So here’s my message: it’s okay to give a shit.
It’s okay to say that you give a shit and not play games to avoid looking ‘desperate.’ Giving a shit is the foundation that our world is built on, so start caring and acting like you care. Because then? You give other’s permission to do the same.